Grief and Bereavement Basics: Part 3
A bench between three trees. The bench centered in a square of dirt which is surrounded by grass.
This blog post is the final part in our series about grief and bereavement basics. In the previous post we covered different types of loss, this week we will focus on different types of grief and sorrow, well at least two types. Once again, we won’t be able to cover every type. What you will find at the end of this blog post is a list of other types of grief that anyone can learn more about if you are curious. Even that list is not complete. Also, once again pay attention to your thoughts, feelings, and body sensations as you read through the post. They are information that you can use to help you maybe understand your own grief or be better present to others.
Chronic Sorrow
(Harris, 2021; Murray, 2023)
Chronic sorrow is an ongoing grief response to living losses that is not pathological or a disorder that often presents with an undercurrent of anxiety and uncertainty. This type of response requires ongoing accommodation and adjustment over the course of time. What also makes this sorrow potentially more intense is if there is a traumatic overly connected with the degree of helplessness and powerlessness. The feeling of being helpless and powerless can be intense for anyone, so when it is combined with sorrow and pain that can be amplified.
Disenfranchised Grief
(Doka, 1999, 2008; 2020; Thompson & Doka, 2017)
Disenfranchised grief is what people experience when the loss is not or cannot be openly acknowledged, socially sanctioned, or publicly mourned. Another way to say this is that a person may experience a loss, but it is not recognized by others or society nor is the grief associated with the loss. The consequence is that people may not be socially given the opportunity or right to grieve or mourn. There are five broad categories to consider.
Five broad categories are as following:
Category 1: The relationship is not recognized.
Relationships between the bereaved and deceased are not based on recognizable familial ties.
Relationships that are not publicly recognized or honored or socially sanctioned.
Cohabiting partners
LGBTQ couples
Extramarital affairs
Category 2: The loss is not acknowledged.
In terms of death-related, perinatal loss is an example.
In terms of non-death-related divorce, incarceration, job loss, material possession loss, or significant change in a person that may not be acknowledged are examples.
In terms of intangible the loss of reputation due to scandal, gossip, or arrest or life transitions such as aging are examples in this area.
Category 3: Griever is excluded.
Bereaved are not socially defined as capable of grief which means that little or no social recognition is given to their sense of loss or need to mourn. Examples of this include:
The very old especially if they have dementia
The very young as not having the comprehension of, or a need to be protected from
Persons with intellectual disabilities or certain mental disorders
Category 4: Circumstances of the death are disenfranchising. Examples of this are survivors of suicide loss or of AIDS-related loss.
Category 5: Griever is disenfranchised for nonnormative expression of grief.
Cultural expressions of grief such as stoicism or wailing that do not fit the grieving rules of a given society.
Certain responses that may not fit with gender expectation.
We made it through! A gentle reminder to once again check in with your thoughts, feelings, and body sensations. Grief really can bring up so much in each of us. A final nugget to leave you with. Your ability to grieve is predicated on your ability to love.
take action today moment:
Consider researching these additional types of grief:
Masked Grief
Collective Grief
Cumulative Grief
Collective grief is one that you may find a lot on because of COVID or because of the many -isms in this world. Or if you have had enough. Just take some time to reflect and breathe. Taking time for yourself to reflect and breathe is also taking action.
Learn More About Ambiguous and Nonfinite Loss:
A Grief That Never Ends: Chronic Sorrow
Understanding Disenfranchised Grief
The Importance Of Mourning Losses (Even When They Seem Small)
References
Doka, K. J. (1999). Disenfranchised grief. Bereavement Care, 18(3), 37-39.
Doka, K. J. (2008). Disenfranchised grief in historical and cultural perspective. In M. S. Stroebe, R. O. Hansson, H. Schut, & W. Stroebe (Eds.), Handbook of bereavement research and practice: Advances in theory and intervention (pp. 223–240). American Psychological Association. https://doi.org/10.1037/14498-011
Doka, K. J. (2020). Disenfranchised grief: An exposition and update. In J. D. Morgan (Ed.), Readings in thanatology (pp. 275-283). Routledge.
Harris, D. (2021). Grief after non-death losses. In R. A. Neimeyer (Ed.). Techniques of grief therapy: Bereavement and beyond (1st Edition). (pp. 54-60). Routledge.
Murray, J. (2023). Grief and Loss. Common Client Issues in Counselling: An Australian Perspective.
Thompson, N., & Doka, K. J. (2017). Disenfranchised grief. In N. Thompson & G. R. Cox (Eds.), Handbook of the sociology of death, grief, and bereavement: A guide to theory and practice (pp. 177–190). Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group.