Domains of Grief: An Introduction
A person standing on a rock next tothe ocean as a wave splashes against the rock.
With some of the basics of grief covered, it is time to do a little bit more of an exploration so that we can learn more about grief. Readers be warned! Learning about grief can remind you of your own grief. That is okay. Grief is not something we get over. Rather it is something we integrate into our lives. The below quote drives this point home.
“Grief changes shape, but it never ends.”
Keanu Reeves
Often we are told that grief is something we get over or we hear messages like…
“Pull yourself up.”
“You will get over your grief.”
“Move on.”
The list could go on. Back to the original point. We have waves of grief or a grief burst when our grief is triggered. Many people have described grief like waves. Some days, minutes, or seconds are calm and then the next minute, second, or day a wave comes rolling in. With time, the waves become less intense as grief becomes more integrated. So as you read, be mindful of your experience and take care of yourself. This post and subsequent ones will potentially be of help to you because we will be discussing the domains of grief, which may give you words to help describe some of your experiences. The five domains will be introduced in this post and the subsequent ones will provide a more in-depth description and discussion of each one. Let’s begin!
Five Domains
Wolfelt (2006) offered the idea that there are five domains of grief to consider: cognitive, spiritual, physical, emotional, and social. Each of these domains offers us a window into understanding our grief. Think of a pair of glasses where you can change the lens to look at an object through different colors, pink, blue, red, purple, yellow, orange, etc. While you are looking at the same object you may notice something different by looking through a lens of different a color.
Cognitive
Grief naturally results in cognitive discomfort. People may experience none or one or more of the following:
Difficulty concentrating and focusing
Memory problems
Confusion and disorientation
Difficulty making decisions
Preoccupation with the loss
Intrusive thoughts
Decreased attention span and focus
There is no right or wrong way to grieve. Your experience may be different than your best friend’s, which may be different than the person across the street.
Spiritual
Grief naturally results in spiritual discomfort.
People may ask questions such as:
“Why go on living?”
“Will my life have meaning?”
“Where is God in this?”.
General themes of these questions and other reactions include:
Questioning religious beliefs
Feeling abandoned or punished by God or spiritual being
Disruption in religious practice
Feeling disconnected from purpose and meaning
Spiritual numbness or fatigue
Dreams or experiences
Increased spiritual awareness
Seeking comfort in faith
Again, there is no set pattern that person must experience any or all of the above.
Physical
Grief naturally results in physical discomfort as the body responds to the stress in some of the following ways:
Fatigue and Exhaustion
Sleep Disturbances
Appetite Changes
Physical Sensations
Impacted Immune System
Anxiety
Muscle tension
Unexplained aches and pains
There is so much science behind this, and in subsequent blogs we will dive into this a bit more. It has to do with the mind-body connection.
Emotional
Grief naturally results in emotional discomfort and people may experience a multitude of wave-like emotions. Remember a multitude of wave-like emotions. Often people equate grief with sadness. While sadness is an emotion that people may experience, it is not the only one. Here are a few examples of the many emotions that people may experience:
Sadness
Anger
Guilt
Fear
Anxiety
Loneliness
Numbness
Disbelief
Yearning
Shock
Denial
Helplessness
Despair
Happiness
Relief
Joy
Yes, you did read the last three correctly. There can be relief, joy, and happiness. Again, we will come back to this in future posts.
Social
Grief naturally results in social discomfort. There are two facets to consider. The first is if friends and/or family withdraw because they don’t want to be around grief, don’t know how to be present for someone, etc. and the result is isolation. The other facet is on the part of the person experiencing the grief and their potential reactions to socially isolate, detach, avoid reminders of the loss, or refrain from asking for support.
And this is just the introduction to these topics! There is so much to learn and cover. Stay tuned for the next blog posts where we will wade into these topics even further.
take action today moment:
A simple suggestion for today. Notice how you responded while you were reading this blog post. Did you recognize yourself or someone else while reading? If so, in what ways? Just take some time to just reflect on what you read.
Learn More About grief:
References
Wolfelt. A. D. (2006). Companioning the bereaved: A soulful guide for caregivers. Companion Press.