Boundaries! Spiritual Boundaries
We have reached the final dimensions in our conversation around boundaries. We are concluding with a discussion about spiritual boundaries. When we are looking through the lens of mental health, spiritual boundaries are the protective limits that we set for ourselves around our core beliefs, values, and practices that give our lives meaning and purpose. These boundaries help define our right to follow our own internally developed compass and protect our connections to a higher power or purpose, nature, or our inner self from being coerced, shamed, or diminished by others. Spiritual boundaries are necessary for existential safety or the feeling that we are allowed to exist as our amazing, authentic selves in a world with many different perspectives. With all that said, let’s dive into a deeper discussion.
Respect for Belief Autonomy
We all have different sets of beliefs, values, and practices that we have learned via many avenues such as family and culture, to name a couple. Respect for autonomy is an essential ethical principle, and it still must be looked at through the lens of cultural awareness and sensitivity (Minkoff, 2014). Spiritual boundaries help protect our right to believe or not to believe in our own way. This also includes resisting the pressure to adopt others' dogmas or worldview in order to fit into a social or familial group. When looking at a boundary that we can hold, we can say that it is important to work towards feeling secure in our own personal philosophy even when people, systems, etc. around are critical or dismissive of our philosophy. This is so much easier said than done because people and systems exert tremendous pressure. Here is a question that you can ask yourself, do you feel guilt-tripped or shamed by others into performing or engaging in spiritual practices that don’t resonate with you?
Protection and Intentional Space for Sacred Time
Protecting our sacred time and space means being intentional about setting aside dedicated periods of time to nurture spiritual well-being. Once again, this can be easier said than done because people and systems will want to push us from taking this time. When we do set a boundary around this time it helps act as a buffer against burnout by giving us an exit from productive, linear time filled with must dos to find a space where time may be more cyclical and filled with more meaningful moments filled with daily meditation, prayer, family rituals, time in nature, or Sabbath rest, to name a few. Research also suggests that people who give themselves more opportunities for sacred moments tend to have great levels of mental health (Minkoff, 2014). Giving ourselves the gift of even 15-minutes of meditation, hiking, or prayer, for example, can be beneficial, especially when we don’t allow others to interrupt this time. Here is a question to help you check-in with yourself. Do you let social or work obligations consistently "bleed into" the time you’ve reserved for your spiritual well-being?
Discernment of Spiritual Influence
There are many different paths that we can follow when it comes to spirituality. And, others may try to share their wisdom or advice from their spiritual perspective, hopefully with good intentions but not always. Spiritual boundaries can help us filter the advice we are given as not every spiritual teacher is a healthy match for our nervous systems while some may be a good match. This is where discernment comes into play. Discernment is our ability to distinguish between what is healthy and growth-oriented versus what might be deceptive or harmful by evaluating the advice against your core values. Therefore, a spiritual boundary is your ability to take what resonates with you from a teaching and leave the rest, instead of feeling obligated to follow spiritual advice blindly. Check-in question. Do you feel a loss of personal power or agency when following a specific spiritual advice or practice?
Our Connection to Interconnectedness
Spirituality can also be viewed through the lens of co-regulation with the world. In order to understand this concept we must first understand the difference between individual and collective energy. Individual energy is a person’s personal, internal, or physical resources (Oliveira et al., 2023). While collective energy in the shared environment, mindset, or physical power created by a group or community (Oliveira et al., 2023). Both types of energy interact to impact our environments. Think about how different people’s attitudes can change the atmosphere in a room as an example. When we enact spiritual boundaries we recognize where our energy ends and the group or community energy begins, which helps us prevent becoming overwhelmed by the state of the world. This may look like being aware of global suffering and acting with compassion (compassion is an action world) without letting that suffering completely paralyze your ability to live your own life. This often feels like a practice as there are some days that may feel harder while others may feel easier.
Recognizing Social Spiritual Crossings
Again we come back to the body to help us recognize when a spiritual boundary has been crossed. These crossings often feel like an internal violation or a loss of grounding. Here are few potential somatic markers:
The "Hollow" Feeling: A sensation of emptiness in the solar plexus or chest, as if you have betrayed your own values.
Floating or Disconnection: Feeling "ungrounded" or "spacey" (dissociation) when forced into spiritual environments that don't feel safe.
"Skin Crawling": An visceral, itchy, or uncomfortable sensation when someone is attempting to push their beliefs on you.
Loss of Voice: A literal tightness in the throat when you want to speak your truth but feel spiritually suppressed.
Remember these are just examples. Not everyone experiences these exact sensations. Everyone's experiences and bodies are different.
Spiritual boundaries may be thought of as an act of self-sovereignty. Focus on staying “rooted.” Imagine your beliefs as roots that go deep into the earth and when someone tries to push you spiritually, instead fight them; you simply sink deeper into your own roots. This allows you to be "interconnected" with the world without being "uprooted" by it.
Shadow outline of a person sitting. The sky is pink and purple with clouds in the upper right corner.
take action today moment:
Today’s take action moment is simple! Use some of the questions above to assess your spiritual boundaries.
Learn More About Boundaries:
How Boundaries, Accountability and Grace Can Heal Our Toxic Culture | Sara Beth Wald | TEDxBillings
Boundaries for wellbeing | Dr. Senem Eren | TEDxDocklands
References
Magyar-Russell, G., Pargament, K. I., Grubbs, J. B., Wilt, J. A., & Exline, J. J. (2022). The experience of sacred moments and mental health benefits over time. Psychology of Religion and Spirituality, 14(2), 161–169. https://doi.org/10.1037/rel0000394
Minkoff H. (2014). Teaching ethics: When respect for autonomy and cultural sensitivity collide. American Journal of Obstetrics and Gynecology, 210(4), 298–301. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.ajog.2013.10.876
Oliveira, S., Chatzimichali, A., Atkins, E., Badarnah, L., & Moghaddam, F. B. (2023). From individuals to collectives in energy systems—A social practice, identity and rhythm inspired lens. Energy Research & Social Science, 105, 103279. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.erss.2023.103279