Priorities - Where We Place Things
How do we decide where we place our priorities? Take a minute and think about that before reading further. Consider taking some notes, drawing, or doing anything else that helps.
After your thought exploration….
Now let’s look at our notes, thoughts, images, etc.
What themes stand out?
Are any emotions or thoughts evoked from looking at your notes?
Anything that you wish was different?
Anything you hope stays the same?
What items take the top spots? What items take the lower spots?
Are there differences between how you place priorities in your professional life and personal life?
How do your professional and personal priorities intermingle?
Do you make the list? Friends? Family?
These are just a few of the many questions that may be worth exploring when considering priorities.
There is a great social worker named Dr. Randy Sconiers, DSW, LCSW. In his book, Good Vibes, he writes about something fundamental - self-care. In that chapter, though, he makes a fantastic point. He writes about the difference between the word “a” and “the” when it comes to taking care of ourselves. There is a distinction between making yourself “a” priority and “the” priority. In the “a” situation, you make the list. In the “the” situation, you are the priority. To learn more about Dr. Ssconiers please follow the links below. His work is extremely impactful. This is one point. But no worries, there are more to make about our priorities!
Where we tend to place our priorities tends to reflect our values, needs, or our perceptions based on experiences, thoughts, and/or emotions. There is no judgment about how or why we place priorities. If any does arise, instead, invite self-compassion. When we go back to our notes, where do we see our values, needs, and perceptions? It might surprise us all to see places of alignment and congruence, and also places where our priorities may not be in congruence.
“Tyranny of the shoulds” is another pesky concept that sneaks into our priorities. We may prioritize the “shoulds” over other things that mean more to us. That is not to say that bills don’t need to get paid, etc. Rather, we find ourselves prioritizing things that we have meant to say ‘no’ to in the first place.
Other patterns may show up in what we prioritize. For example, do we use some of our priorities to procrastinate on other things? Do we use some of our priorities to avoid other things? Do we set our priorities based on what other people or culture wants us to prioritize? Again, we have a list of questions that could continue. There is a lot to learn in the patterns of how we prioritize.
While this above list is only scratching the surface, hopefully, it inspires us to take some time to engage in a little bit more exploration. When we take the time to learn and bring awareness, we then open the door to either acknowledging that we are good with priorities or changing them to bring them into alignment with ourselves.
Titles spelling out - Prioritise.
take action today moment:
Spend some time engaging in the process of exploration! Maybe continue to write and bring in color coding. Or consider drawing or using symbols or pictures. Or maybe consider asking for feedback from trusted family or friends. If you decide that you need to make some changes, take one step at a time because chances are that you are used to doing things one way as are other people who may have their own reactions to the changes. This is where honoring your experience and standing up for yourself comes into play. Ground yourself in remembering why you are making these changes.